(….) is the New Crossfit

The first well documented trend was when a caveman used some tallow from a buffalo that he had hunted down, smashed the buffalo’s teeth equidistant into the thin line of tallow and hung the result on his cave wall. It was a primitive version of hippie lights, and as soon as the other nearby cavemen saw it, the trend rocketed across the globe.

Since then, trends have developed in much the same way, apart from traveling much faster across the globe with our now superior technology. Here’s a quick list of bygone trends to bring a single tear of nostalgia to your eye that you’ll quickly wipe away once your wife eyes you suspiciously as you hover over the phrase “lawn darts”:

Clothing: loin cloths, bell bottom khakis, mood rings, hot pants, platform shoes

Exercise trends: Yoga, Crossfit, HIIT, LISS, step aerobics, sit and be fit, 6 second abs

Just for Fun: Frisbee, Pet Rocks, Stretch Armstrong

Dances: The Freddie, The Electric Slide, The cha cha slide, The Chicken Dance

 

The categories and lists are endless.

 

Now before you go digging through your pile of old Allen dolls to find your Simon game, listen here, sonny Jim! There’s a larger point to this post.

The coronavirus has destroyed many things, and many of those deserve the amount of attention they are getting. But can we spare a few minutes to consider the collapse of the trend?

All that is being covered in the news is the coronavirus, and rightfully so, but how are we supposed to know what is trendy anymore without being told and shown a million people wearing or playing with it?

I’ve barely heard anyone tell me that they are a vegan or a crossfitter the last few months.

I haven’t seen anyone do The Hustle in longer than I can remember.

The number of robberies I’ve seen stopped by a chain wallet is rapidly approaching zero.

We’re in desperate need of a new trend.

And I am here to provide it:

The sardine challenge.

The routine is simple, you film yourself eating a can of sardines with whatever condiments or sides you like. Then you scream: “I am both the ideal man (or whatever gender is appropriate) and the ideal sardine”!

That’s it. Plain. Simple. Easy.

All that’s left to do after that is to talk about it and pass around the video as much as you can. Let’s reclaim our trends from COVID 19!

 

Update 11:15 am:

Already this trend is exploding. People all around the world are doing the sardine challenge. I knew you all wouldn’t let me down.